It's Tuesday

"Because, most of us all walk around as if we' re sleeping walking. We really don't experience the world fully, because we're half-asleep, doing things we automatically thing we have to do."

Today I fully aprpreciate this quote. I am breathing but I dont have clear vision. I dont have clear dream.

Once I read from a blog about what imagery you would think of your life. I had one imagery last time, like a clay.

But I think the clay is almost dry now, it is very difficult to be shaped, the clay also want to know what is its shape now. No answer, no body tell it. It is confused and lost.

It is tuesday. I learned about death today.

Weekends of Tuesday with Morrie

It has been quite some time for me to write something here, and also to read a novel book. It is because of my bad habbit of Procrastination. I am now trying to cut my negative habit of procrastination by writting something that touched me so much this weekend. I supposed to write about my 10 days training at Kkotongnae as I promised one of my friend and also about my trip to Chengdu, and some other things. Rather than making the list longer I guess the best solution is just start writing from what I have now.

So here I am, after finishing the 2nd book by Mitch Albom, Tuesday with Morrie. I borrowed these 2 books ( one more day and Tuesday with Morrie ) from my roommate. The last novel that I read is harry potter which was about 1 or 2 years ago. These two books are quite thin so I could finish it quite fast. ( maybe 2 weekends is considered slow for some of you hahaha). I am not going to give a book review,but rather about my experience and reflection reading this book.

For more excerpt or preview about the book please check it on wikipedia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuesdays_With_Morrie)

I will go straight to my favorite chapter: The fourth Tuesday, we talked about Death.

Death is really the best topic that I love from this book, it serves me as a wake up call, slap on the face, or punch on my stomach. When something struck me real hurt it means that I am really weak on this ( I forgot where I heard or read about this )

My favorite part from this chapter :
" Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live .... , Because, most of us all walk around as if we' re sleeping walking. We really don't experience the world fully, because we're half-asleep, doing things we automatically thing we have to do. "
And facing death changes all that?
" Oh yes, You strip away all that stuff and you focus on the essentials. When you realize you are going to die you see everything much differently."

"Everyone knows they are going to die, but nobody believes it."

I love this part because it hit me so hard, I am that kind of person, I know that I am going to die, but I dont really believes it because I dont live my life fully. yet.

I know that I should doing what I love, living what I love, but the problem is.... I dont know exactly what it is.
I am still running here and there to find clues. I am still not at peace with my self. I dont know about you, but I really want to say that I know what I love, and I am doing what I love.

At the end of my life, I will be able to say I forgive all the things that I failed to do, but if I have a chance to repeat my life, I will do exactly the same thing that I did in my life.
I can feel it.... The sense of peace because of fulfillment.

I am still not settling down, I am open minded, searching for my true self, knowing what I love, and doing it.
By writing this, I discovered 1 clue, I love to share, I love to hear if there is anybody who could relate to what I am writing, and of course I could help them from my sharing.

I know that I am not alone, we are on the same quest. To our self discovery. Let us share and encourage one another.

Peace

The most profound life experience (Yet)

I visited the greatest place on earth, Kkottongnae, South Korea. I went there with another 4 of my friends from singapore.

From the left : Stefani, Damian, Bosco , and Dion.

We spent 10 days full of great experience, lovely people, beautiful place, and delicious food!

Our first day visit to Seoul Cathedral ( I forgot the name), and this is the first church to be built in Korea, well it is still under renovation for the front view. Something unique about Korean Christian, they know Christ for the first time was not by the foreign missionaries like many other countries in Asia.

2nd day visit, a tour to the Kkottongnae facilities, they have many buildings on their complex.There are house for children (read: orphan,children with disabilities),house for the poor ( those who stay on the street), house for the elderly ( those who were cast away by their own children/family). The picture above is only one of the building, which is the training center, and also convention hall to hold a big conference or meeting.

At the back part of the training center, there is this beautiful cemetery, this place is dedicated for the baby who were aborted by their parent. A statue of the Holy Family ( Joseph,Mary and baby Jesus) is there.

Two of the hundred children who stay at kkottongnae, they are so lovely! very active and smart. 

 

We are very fortunate to have the opportunity to do voluntary job at the house of the elderly. I help this grandmother to have her lunch, because she can't move her body well and she need help to do her daily activity. Strangely, the elderly who stay there looks happy ( for real! ) I can look at their eyes, and they feel peace and loved! Look at this!

  

We also bring them outside to have a walk ( we push their wheel chair because they can't walk anymore). They holds hand by themselves ( no body ask them to do it! ) they support one another, love one another! I really can feel the love among the people! The worker with the elderly, the worker with the volunteer, and the volunteer with the elderly.

  

Guess what? in Korea there are 103 canonized saints! and many more martyrs! This is also another reason why the Christian there is very strong. The origin for their faith was from their own people who went to China and become a priest there. Behind the altar there are stones on which is engraved the name of the saint.

  

It is me with the picture of the 103 saints~ 

  

At Kkottongnae, we attended a leadership training by ICCRS ( please visit the site for more details about ICCRS) The training was held for 1 week, from 5 - 13 July 2008. In the picture is Jim Murphy one of the trainer. *And Sister John whom we met at the airport for the 1st time with Br Paul.

  

In the 1st row, there are Jim Murphy  and Oreste ( the 2nd and 3rd person from the left of the 1st row). Oreste is also one of the trainer, he is currently the Director of ICCRS. The rest of the people are the Koreans from one diocesan of the 13 diocesan in Korea

 

Lastly the Sisters and Br Bartholomew who lead the Praise and Worship on the last day. They really have beautiful voices! I love to see the sisters in KKottongnae, they are so lovely, so kind and in love with Jesus!

This is really a life changing experience. To see and experience the Love and Faith of people to God. I believe this is not only my statement to say that this is the most profound life experience, but also by the entire participants of the training.

Self Love

After I change my focus to meaning, there is some changes in my life. I played soccer this Saturday. I usually play every week with my friends. But this week is a bit different. I have more love towards the game.

When the game was started, I feel the joy of kicking the ball, running to chase the ball, or pass the ball to my friends.

The wheater was also quite good, not so hot and not raining. Some how I feel good about it.

I said to my self, how good life is, I am very fortunate to have a healthy body. I said I love my body as it is. Thank you God for giving me this body.

I also said thank God for the health, appearance that I have.

I found meaning in this simple conversation, you know, it is like saying I love my self as I am.

I feel many of us like to compare with other people. Our neighbor grass always look greener!

The meaning that I discover is about self love. I think its ok to love our self. and even I think before we can love other people we need to love ourself first.

Life will be more exciting because we love ourself, we make peace and feel content about our condition. With the love that we have for ourself we can grow more!

It is strange, but it was my first time that I have this experience and insight while playing soccer.

Start to blog again!

It has been 6 months since the last time I publish something on this blog. I would like to start blogging after being off for sometimes.
There are many updates and improvement from blogger,Thanks man. They make blogging more fun and comfortable.

I would like to blog about the meaning of life. I read books from Viktor Frankl, with his most popular book titled Man Search for Meaning. This book explain a lot to me about the thing that I have been looking for.

The purpose of life, why am I here.

The meaning of life, what is this life all about.

I also feel that I am not alone, that there are many other people especially around my age who are also searching for meaning and purpose.

I will try my best to get connected with many people as possible through this media, so that we may share and help one another.

For those who have passed this stage of life, Please! Please! help me and many other people by sharing your experience.

Just drop by a comment, or message me if you wish to share something.

Thank you for your generousity