"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior. " Luke 1:46-47
I want to share about my past life before I live my life in the spirit. My past life was very different before I experience God personally. I am a very logical person, hence I like to reason every thing, even about my faith and my God. During my junior high school ( secondary school) I was having a very bad life, I was a very bad boy, I smoke, cursed others with dirty language, lied to many people, addicted to pornography & masturbation, and many other things.
One day some one ask me, " andy, why do you believe in God? or Jesus? ", I don't really remember my answer, but I remember that I also began to ask my self about this question. How could I have faith in someone who I have never met before? How could I love someone who I have never heard his voice before? How could I obey someone who I have never touched or feel him before? How could I pray to God whose existence might not be real? and so on and so on.
I asked this question, then my belief and faith to Him diminished and even I didn't believe in Him anymore. I didn't want to go to mass anymore, because I thought its useless and waste my time. I didn't pray anymore, because its just a nonsense to me. I've never read bible because this books is not proven to be true, as historically or anything, and what I believe that this book contains more lies that truths. Lastly, Christianity for me is a big lie, in its faith of something unreal.
I don't know how God's felt about this, but I know His response. Even though I didn't pray anymore, He answered my questions to my self. He reveal Himself to me, let me feel Him personally, but I think it is just my own feeling, and I still don't believe it. Then He let me hear His voice, but I think it is just my imagination. Then He touch my hand, but I think it is just the air con. Then He surround me and hold me close, and this time I cant reject Him anymore, and start to believe that He exist, Jesus is real, and this is the way He answer me when I attended my first LISC during my senior high school.
After I experienced Him personally, I became understand a little bit more about God. I start to attend mass. I start to pray again. Then I start to read bible, and it made my thirst for God became greater. I want to know Him more, then I start to serve Him through CSA community after I attended my second LISC.
That is why, when you meet me, I will ask you to join LISC, because of this journey of my life. I am not sharing of others story, but my own life. That's why I sometimes you might feel irritated by me of asking you to join LISC. Because God also made me feel irritated last time, when He calls me everyday to come back to Him. Now God uses me to call others, I can understand how does it feel to be rejected, when the invitation is not successful.
My journey is not ended, but now I pray to God to let me experience Him more. I pray to God to know Him more, and I pray to God to help me with these by His charism(gift) in my life in the Spirit.
May the Holy Spirit inspires you and moves your heart and life to experience God personally.
One day some one ask me, " andy, why do you believe in God? or Jesus? ", I don't really remember my answer, but I remember that I also began to ask my self about this question. How could I have faith in someone who I have never met before? How could I love someone who I have never heard his voice before? How could I obey someone who I have never touched or feel him before? How could I pray to God whose existence might not be real? and so on and so on.
I asked this question, then my belief and faith to Him diminished and even I didn't believe in Him anymore. I didn't want to go to mass anymore, because I thought its useless and waste my time. I didn't pray anymore, because its just a nonsense to me. I've never read bible because this books is not proven to be true, as historically or anything, and what I believe that this book contains more lies that truths. Lastly, Christianity for me is a big lie, in its faith of something unreal.
I don't know how God's felt about this, but I know His response. Even though I didn't pray anymore, He answered my questions to my self. He reveal Himself to me, let me feel Him personally, but I think it is just my own feeling, and I still don't believe it. Then He let me hear His voice, but I think it is just my imagination. Then He touch my hand, but I think it is just the air con. Then He surround me and hold me close, and this time I cant reject Him anymore, and start to believe that He exist, Jesus is real, and this is the way He answer me when I attended my first LISC during my senior high school.
After I experienced Him personally, I became understand a little bit more about God. I start to attend mass. I start to pray again. Then I start to read bible, and it made my thirst for God became greater. I want to know Him more, then I start to serve Him through CSA community after I attended my second LISC.
That is why, when you meet me, I will ask you to join LISC, because of this journey of my life. I am not sharing of others story, but my own life. That's why I sometimes you might feel irritated by me of asking you to join LISC. Because God also made me feel irritated last time, when He calls me everyday to come back to Him. Now God uses me to call others, I can understand how does it feel to be rejected, when the invitation is not successful.
My journey is not ended, but now I pray to God to let me experience Him more. I pray to God to know Him more, and I pray to God to help me with these by His charism(gift) in my life in the Spirit.
May the Holy Spirit inspires you and moves your heart and life to experience God personally.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed. "
Psalms 34:19
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2 comments:
i doubt there is a god http://kayvan13.blogspot.com/
Dear Salmon,
I also didnt believe in Him, I didnt think He exist.
but after He reveal himself to me, I cant doubt him anymore, I want to but I can't.
It is like saying that the gravity doesnt exist, but its there.
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