Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Who am I?

This question has been bothering me since I heard Fr Jivan session about salvation. He asked us to write 5 sentences starting with the words I am.... So I supposed to describe my self in 5 sentences. I tried my best to describe my self in 5 sentences.

For me as a final year student right now who will graduate soon. I feel that I am at the cross road right now, I am still a bit confused which way that I should choose? I realise there might be no turning back so its a great decision that I am going to make at this short of time.

Going back to Fr Jivan session, he told us that salvation according to him is to be with God at ALL TIME. He illustrated it with the story of Adam and eve from the book of Genesis. Both of them were with God at all time in their nakedness. For me that state or condition is also applicable for me. I mean God wants to be with me and although I don't have anything with me ( naked ) it would still be alright. Instead it may be the best way to be with God at all time, just me and God, nothing else. It was quite confusing but I believe that what I myself actually want is only that. To be with God at all time, and to be Myself in my nakedness.

From this session I start to reflect on my life and learnt few things. I am created by the Lord as a unique creation, and the reason why He created me is because He loves me. How do I know about this? I cant really explain it, because this conviction came after the process of learning, reflecting, experiencing, listening to God's revelation. I may share with you about this later on my next posting.

So as a unique creation He bestowed on me also a unique composition of talents,endowments and etc. Which mean there will be only one person who is me in this world at this point of time. In my reflection the state of being naked is actually my true self. Which God created me to be. It is the core of my self that I can be the best of me, the truest of me in this life. When I am being naked and with God at all time there will be nothing else I shall want in this world. I feel fulfilled.

I found a way of discovering this core of myself, first is relying on God's revelation, second is to ask my self. Its a way of discovering, meaning that it was already there, its not an invention or a creation of my self. I just need to look for it, it was always there. I am still learning by reading some books such as : Self matters from McGraw Phill, and also Bible from the LORD. I am quite sure right now after looking into my self regularly this past few months I can get a feel of my true self. It is still not completely revealed but I already can see the glimpse of it.

I am writting on my personal journal on every discovery that I made, any thing that the Lord reveals to me, so that I will not forget and this will be like my life project. This is a very interesting journey for me, the journey to the inward of my self. Slowly but sure, God is revealing His plan for me, and also for you.

Praise the LORD!!!!Alleluia!!!

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